two to go, three to come back.

i guess i've been living in some state of denial, better yet, deferral. not that i was conscious of this deferral, of course, more like you know you have to paint the outside of the house before it snows but you put it off till october anyway. but now it's really getting close.

last week i went to pick up our tickets and for whatever reason, it kinda just struck me as... er... odd. using my best Matrix "Architect" voice;

"the door to the left, you don't go to china, you grow old, alone with your wife with very little use for that extra room and less for the tons of gifts she got at the shower. the door to the right, you go to china, meet this little munchkin, fall in love immediately, go through a mad rush of emotions, you grow old, having your heart broken and warmed a million times over and sort of live happily ever after.

YOU-ARE-GOING-TO-CHINA-AND-THERE-IS-ABSOLUTELY-NOTHING-YOU-CAN-DO-TO-STOP-IT."

maybe i shoulda done the blue pill, red pill ...